What advice do you have for someone that has just lost their child?
My advice since losing our daughter has changed from how I used to relate to someone. Now I tell them to just breathe…… when the grief is washing over you sometimes you just need to breathe…. and then take life one day, hour, minute at a time….
What if anything helped you through the grief journey?
For a long time it seemed like my life was just very dark… my head just couldn’t stay above the water. My kids at home couldn’t pull me out, nothing could. That was okay, my heart had been broken into a million shards and I had to let time scar over those wounds… so I guess I would have to say time was my best coping mechanism. Figuring out that our normal would never be the same again and that was okay. For me it was turning our grief into a voice and help for others….
Any suggestions on how to get through the anniversary of the passing of your child or how to celebrate their birthdays even though they are not here?
We have a bed of lilies that the boys and I planted in the fall the year before Mackenzie died. The week she died the Lilies exploded with color and even now 7 years later (yes, 7 yrs, 4 mo, and 9 days… this week marks her due date of Oct 30, 2005) we still make a fuss over those lilies and my sweet boys still comment about Mackenzie’s flowers.
Is there a song, book or poem that spoke to you after their passing?
If so, can you share it with us? The first time I got behind the wheel after Mackenzie had died I was driving down the road and for the first time heard Natalie Grant’s “Held”. I cried so hard I had to pull over and it still can bring tears to my eyes. I find incredible peace and faith in music.
What is your Angel’s Name, how old where they when they passed, and how long have they been in heaven?
Mackenzie Faith Davidson, she was 21 weeks, 6 days. We only got to cherish her for 13 days after her fatal heart diagnosis… We lost her June 17, 2005