What advice do you have for someone that has just lost their child?
When you lose a child, it can feel as if the world, for you, has stopped. You might feel the need to put on a brave front, and that may be necessary, in some cases, but you must allow yourself time to grieve. Pour out all your feelings in prayer to God, even the negative, angry ones. He can take it! It may also help if there is a person who can listen, accept and offer comfort, without judging. Writing it out in a journal can also be helpful.
What if anything helped you through the grief journey?
I know there were a lot of people praying for my family. In the weeks that followed the death of my baby, we received many cards and letters, some from people we barely knew. It was comforting to know that so many were concerned. I prayed a LOT! But, I truly felt the most relief, when I was able to give comfort to another mother who had lost a child. To be able to use my pain to bring comfort to someone else seemed to complete the circle.
Any suggestions on how to get through the anniversary of the passing of your child or how to celebrate their birthdays even though they are not here?
We have not really observed any traditions regarding the anniversary of her death or her birthday. I do remember those days and acknowledge it privately. I know of others who volunteer time or give a donation to different children’s organizations. I think is an excellent to recognize the lost child while making a difference in the lives of other children!
Is there a song, book or poem that spoke to you after their passing? If so, can you share it with us?
At my baby’s funeral, the Pastor told the story of David, when his child was ill. He prayed and fasted for days, praying for God to spare the child. When the child died, his servants were afraid to tell him. When he realized what had happened, he got up, cleaned up and went to worship God. He said, “Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he shall not return to me.” I thought about that a lot in the following days and weeks. There were also certain cards and letter I had received after the funeral that I went back to over and over that had come from people who had similar experiences.
What is your Angel’s Name, how old where they when they passed, and how long have they been in heaven?
My Angel’s name was Royale Ann Christie. She was 5 months and 23 days old when she left us. That was over 31 years ago. In some ways it seems almost like another lifetime, but then again, it sometimes seeks like only yesterday when I was holding her hand and singing to her as she passed from this life to the next. What would she be now if she had remained in this life? God only knows. I look forward to seeing her again. “OI will go the her, but she will not return to me,”